Being Pregnant

One of my buddies was messing about me being pregnant and of course the I.M’s and emails started coming. “oh my goodness are you really pregnant” “congrats” “why dint you tell me, I’m mad at you” and of course the God mother requests, hmmn I wonder why I did not get any God father requests. teeheee.. Sorry to disappoint o, I am soooooo not pregnant, .no sarriiie bob. Nope, Nope, Nope. lol. not yet anyways. If I were, oo boy do I feel sorry for the people around me. A pregnant diva is no joke o. I want foot rubs, scalp massages, the works!

Anyhoo it did have me thinking, how my lifestyle would change drastically with kids. My goodness I can see it now, working quietly, and being jerked out of my serenity with loud baby noises. Keep in mind I hope and pray my first will be twins so that’s two for two loud baby noises. Knowing the kind of baby I was, I’m most likely going to have naughty babies, you know the kind you think are soooo darn adorable but can’t be bothered to oogle and play with them because they just wont stop crying. Yes, I was that baby. Feed me, I cry, Bathe me, I cry, Play with me, I cry. I told mums that I just had a lot to say and was frustrated because I couldn’t get it out. lol. Yeah I love friendly babies, you can play with them all day long and never get bored because all the do is giggle and smile. Everything you do is funny. lol.

Last trip I took, I was sitting in the boarding lounge and I saw this lady with 2 young ones, one toddler and a baby. She was really working it, trying to hustle the stroller, the bags and hold the little one. gosh, I just kept trying picture myself with that stroller, the diaper bags and the young one that you have to hold on to. I’m such an impatient traveller, I like to board first, I don’t like delays and most of the time, I sleep through my flight so imagine me travelling with 2 adorable ones. Does this mean, my laptop stays home? does this mean I cant just get on the plane and sleep? do I have to change diapers during the flight? Seeing as I plan to be a hands on mum, you know the kind that takes babies to work, I wonder how Ill manage. Oh and lets not talk about visiting NIG and mosquito bites, I already know my baby’s first mosquito bite will get me very upset. One of my little cousins was visiting NIG and oh my Goodnessss.. when they were leaving, I saw this boy at the airport, I have never seen such a red spotted child in my life. They did not take it easy on him at all.

One thing I know for sure is that kids are a huge responsibility, diapers are not cheap, baby true religions cost a grip and breast feeding is no joke. Oh lord, do I have to say goodbye to my perks, oh nooooooo!.. Will I have stretch marks like Ushers Fiancee who by the way looked very err questionable in some picture I saw. Will I have to entrust someone else with the fruits of my loins because I need to get to a meeting, will my associates mind me bringing little Toni and Little Zion (yes I have names. lol) along or will they frown at it. So many questions, I know one thing for sure, one of the reasons I decided to work for myself was because I did not wanted the independence of being able to call the shots as to how much time I spend with my kids.

I’m talking kids, I have not even gotten past the fear of labour. Is it true that the epidural needle is like a gazzilion inches long and fatter than most needles? or that if you rip you wont even feel the pain because the labor pain will be more? Ok I just made my skin crawl. Ive heard so many stories from friends with babies and they are never pleasant. Oh well, I guess when the time comes Ill figure it out. ok truth be told, Im secretly looking forward to that day when I break the news to me fam.

PS: I am soo homesick, lord please give me some valuable free time so I can visit NIG. I would prefer this by next month if not sooner. I still have my other request with you, please do not forget that either. Your child T. aka Mrs Vicker

Toni Payne

Author: Toni Payne

Toni Payne is a creative writer, poet, voiceover artist, media personality and entrepreneur. She enjoys writing inspirational quotes, short stories, and poetry about various topics from romance to self-love. She also does voiceover readings of short stories and flash fiction on her podcast and writes travel, exotic cars and beauty lifestyle articles. At her leisure, she writes musings about pop culture, entertainment, relationships and more.

10 thoughts

  1. don’t worry, getting pregnant is the hip thing now. you will be fine, you seem to have managed your self, business etc, a baby will just be icing on the cake. and they grow up so fast!
    what am i saying, it is hard but the one of the most loving moments. i have a 6 year old and found out another is on the way… can you imagine that i have to start over again. hubby is very excited but i regret waiting till now to have another kid. i am used to my baby being grown up and all.so hopefully you will have twins and not have to worry again.
    visit your blog, luv it and your products. too lazy to register though, with all the passwords i have to store and remember i am too lazy to add another.

  2. U talking about starting family and having kids has just made me conclude dat really ready to settle down. I can imagine u with a big bump. laaawlu

  3. @anon.. awwww men congratulations. Well I dont plan on stopping at 2.. I want at least 4. lol. I blame it on the only child syndrome I seem to have. Gosh! you must be very happy, especially when you have such a supportive beau, makes it all the more exciting huh. I dunno why Im grinning cos I read ur post. Like its my good news. lol

    @wienna. lol. naa not fully ready butprobably 98% there, the 2% just has to do with how Ill organize my life to fit the change. I hope Im not a wide big bumper, I want a cute bump, dont worry when the time comes Ill post pictures, providing I still blog.

  4. hey Toni, I would like to ask a question, sorry, its not really related to this post…lol. I tried to find ur email add but couldnt so… OK, I plan to go to nigeria sometime this year and it totally freaks me out! I havent been there in ages, pls, i need serious advice on everything, right from when i step off d plane. I’d really appreciate it chicka. thanks.

  5. oh, im asking cos i know u were there a while back and i remember reading an interview u did with one newspaper like tht also, i think im abt same age as u so i shld b able to kinda relate. thanks hun!

  6. I always said I was gonna be a hands-on dad until I was babaysitting my godson and had to change his diaper once. I promise u I thought I was gonna faint seeing that stuff up close and personal!
    Loving your bog as usual, and saw another clip on youtube. U fine o! LOL…

  7. Mr. Fineboy, haha, you don land for hia deh give accolades to fine chikito. Abeg, make u go take some diaper training for new babies…and stop using ya nose to change diapers.
    This baby blues is everywhere, gawd leave!

  8. @anonymous.. email me, its my first name at my website address .com I have some proper naija advice for you. When are you going? I should be heading out there soon.

    @june.. sharaway.. I would be a fantastic mother once I get the hang of it.

    @fineboy. aww u’ve got me blushing. Diaper changes are not so bad even though I can’t remember the last time I changed a diaper.

    @politricks.. tell me about it.

  9. Excellent blog ?ere! Also ?our web site loads up very fast!
    W?at web host are yo? using? Can I get your affiliate ?ink
    to y?ur ?ost? I w?sh my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

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