and the saga continues..

So how do you have issues and not know it? haha well, hell I did. I think the first person that noticed was a friend, Adebola. He kept complaining about me, like I would break dates, not gist as much as b4, the works, I guess I was no longer “FUN”. The sad part was I was like this with everyone and once in a while a breath of life will puff its way into my body and Ill go out but for the most part my bed was more appealing than any hangout, any show, any movie out there. I was mentally drained!

The biggest wake up call for me came over the past 2 weeks. I got a FB msg from a friend saying “Toni, you are one of the bubbliest females I know, I cant help thinking something in you has died” I mean I had been getting messages over the past 2 weeks but no one actually said something in me died. Another friend mentioned to me last week that my eyes were vacant and he could not see that playfulness in there anymore. Hahaha I found it amusing because he sounded like something out of Mills and Boons.. I teased him a little and replied him saying I was cool and nothing is wrong. Then more and more messages and thats when I was like ooooooooo..k maybe Im missing something here. Then I got really ill and had to literally suffer for days and boy did I have time to think. So I kinda sat back and though about it. I could not lie to myself, even I was not feeling like myself anymore, even I was missing the old spontaneous, fun T. with the prayers pouring in, the tears flowing, I prayed to God that if he made me better I would change and do my best to live my life to the fullest afterall you only get one chance at this right? So I tried to pin point the problem and low and behold I figured it out…

I think I have been going through a quater life crisis for the past two months and did not even know it and yesterday was the first day I actually saw a glimmer of hope at having the old Toni back, I went out with friends and actually had so much fun I did not want to go home. Somehow Yeah yeah its coming back kinda weird though because I keep getting this urge to run outside and yell out “WHATS UP BITCHES!!” or going to the club and dancing on stage.. hahaha, I remember those days, we sure had a lot of fun. Gosh I don’t want to end up that boring ass misrable married woman with no friends! Hell to the no, I wanna be a WILF and a MILF Dammit!!!!! I wanna stay incredibly busy, I wanna make an impact, hell yeah I wanna conquer the f-ing world. I know, maybe when you go through that faze, you come back to the old you a bit intense and full of mischief.

Like right now I feel like flying all my close friends to one secluded island for one week and partying till we drop and just chill out there getting massages all day long and when I feel everyone is asleep, get up to some overnight mischief.. I also feel like jumping in my car and doing 0-120 in 30 seconds bumping Brittney Spears – “You want a piece of me” and singing at the top of my lungs. Hell, I feel like walking into the mercedes dealership, giving them the keys to my E and saying “hey bitches, see that SLR Roadstar over there, hook it up NOW!” and then right after that going to the Bentley dealership and throwing my homegirl the SLR keys to drive after me, saying Im taking that silverlake blue Continental GTC home.. and then do like Tony Montana, tell my homegirl to settle the bill and drive off in it. hehehe.. I feel like walking into Neiman Marcus and shopping till I bloody drop all cash. I feel like sitting in my living room counting 10 million dollars cash and when Im done sitting there staring at it and grinning from ear to ear. ..(hey its I feel like starting my own charity and never having any problems raising funds. I feel like building the biggest, baddest childrens hospital in naija and actually maintaining it.. no broke down equipment or nurses that hiss at you…lol

Anyways with that said, Im working my way to a bigger and better T-Payne and hopefully there will be no relapse. Haha I feel like Im in rehab…lol

They say the first step to solving your problems is admitting you have one..

on another note… here is a little PSA
The real Hip Hop

It’s like a rain of dance competitions right now. So much that you will keep mistaking them for each other. The buzz cant seem to stop amazing us because just about 2 to 3 years ago, dancers were jobless, unserious layabouts but the new emphasis and respect is amazing. Some says it’s as a result of the Nokia Danceathon competition where we broke the world record. Other says the industry has just grown to appreciate these artistes more. but for whatever it is, its a very good development and it has moved on from background/back up dancing to dancing as an art on it’s own for appreciation.
All over the world, dance has always been some kind of unifying factor and even identification for different groups with the kinds of dances they do. Its fun and at the same time very healthy sport. Different dances are by the day creeping in on us and they are fun. But the age long hip hop remains the most prominent and it has even diversified into different parts. From crump dancing to popping and locking, bugaloo, B-Boying, Steps, etc. Hip hop is huge and most young people are in tune with the songs and dance moves America IS OF COURSE THE HOME OF THIS DANCE and every now and then some competition or the other is hosted around dance. About 7 years a ago, a group of young guys who have been running the dance scene in America and release top dance movies like “You got served, Honey, Stomp the Yard, Step up” came together to stage a world dance competition in America and as expected it’s grown into bigger success as the years went by with no participation from Africa until 2yrs ago when South Africa came on board but that’s still not Africa. The biggest black nation wasn’t there yet. So, in 2007, Testify Music Group secured rights for Nigeria at this prestigious competition. As opposed all other competitions, HHI is clearly defined.
it has five categories :
1, B-Boy
2 B-Girl
3 Popping and locking
4 Bugaloo
5 Crew Battle (Junior, Varsity and Adult)
But being that this would be our first year, we will only be competing in B-Boy/Girl Popping and locking and Crew battle (Adult category)
HHI Nigeria is setting different standards from that of every other dance competition because this is an event with the founders of hip-hop, well defined and structured unlike other competitions that are going to countries with hip hop roots and without clear definition.
So Nigeria will be represented in this competition live in Vegas, USA! Now, no games. Its live in Vegas – one crew and one Bboy will be fully sponsored, to Vegas for the final competition where they will be competing with the world. As much as 30 countries are in the competion this year. And you stand a chance to win an American video choreography, Paul Mitchell 1 year gift pack and other cash prizes
So do you ‘dare to drop’ at the Hip-hop International, Nigeria competition? You’ve got to get registered on Auditions will be held a on 7th June!
Partners of this event include Chocolatecity, Hiptv, Nigeria international and Lucozade to boost the dance energy!
Registration closes 0n the 6th of June. For enquiries call 08052333810.


  1. Oluwayemisi’s my turn,i made numba 1 and for me to be the first to make a comment on this “Toni Payne Rehab”,I am really screaming…
    Toni whao,u’re crazy and just reading this makes me wanna SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEM bcos im feeling u man(it’s like havin a mirror in front of me seeing my all in all reading this post).
    Readin this makes me wanna do some crazy things too but damn how???
    anyways,Toni I’m happy for u that u’ve good friends who have noticed you and try to give you a recall,lucky u!
    anyways,this is frm me to u,live ur life to the fullest,”no one knows tommorrow,drive away ur sorrow…gangan aso “.
    Peace out,luv u to pieces and be4 i forget,saw u on hiphop tv,an interview like that,lked ur voice.ciao bella!

  2. Jayjazzy

    Hey gal, u ve been away for a long long time, well i guess there are down moments in everyones life and we need to look forward and do all we can to stand up,Anyways i feel ya on this one, my next stop pole dancing at a strip club. lol…..

  3. wienna

    You don’t even give updates on your wedding plans any longer. BTW, saw you and your boo’s interview on soundcity on Friday. Hope you get back to been ‘YOU’.

  4. linda

    buhahahahahahaha i havent been online in a min cause of alot of new changes (check ur email) and reading this omo mehn this is too funny and good to know cause i think we all feel like this some times sha….well am glad to read this sha….now about the island thingy ehmmmmm nne u know we can like so do it mehn lol lol well we might have tot wait for a few things to get done this year first 😉 but it can be done now lol lol….glad to see that my dear friend is still around lol….my dear enjoy life….ttyl babz

  5. Laquisha Tennet

    Miz Payne… You go gurl. Do ur thang. And last but not the least, drop it like it’s HOT. Holla, ma.

  6. Boogie

    That’s one helluva quarter life crisis ur going thru. but, i ain’t mad atcha, ma. it happens to evry one evry once in a while. another pretty thing about u is that ur not just trying to get that paper, ur also tryna do something for charity with it. that’s major. u go, girl. and may God continue to bless u. p.s. its alrite to go crazy now and then. if i tried to go into a bentley dealership for even their lowest priced automobile, i can swear security’ll be escorting me out. Peace, dear.

  7. bumight

    yeah, a quarter life crisis is normal, so long as you get out of it…and it seems like you’re already half way there!

  8. NikkiSab

    I know where u coming from on dis. I used to av so much fun but now….i don’t get me. I don’t know if my friends got sobber and dragged me in it or I just became an old maid (i’m just 28). I’m gettin married in september and sometimes i just wanna take a trip av fun n den come back to d plannin but…cash/planning and work seem to av handcuffed me. You beta av fun and stay fun..don’t let urself go down again, Its really one life and so make d best of it. Listen to d song on my blog, i tink it’ll keep u happy – it works for me. lol

  9. Toni Payne

    well its good to know I am not alone on this.. thnx yall

    @wienna.. well nothing significant has changed so nothing to really blog about abi u want to know the venue ni, abi what kind of rice will be served? hahaha

  10. SPEECHgirl Bucknor

    pele love

    keep ur head up

    quarter life crisis

    feel u on the charity tip
    wish i didnt NEED fundraisers

    went for the dance competition
    it was nice


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