You have been single for a while and you are getting tired of it. You want that special someone you can call yours but it is becoming a tedious task finding one. Single life sucks and you just want out of it. They say everything in life is all about perspective. You can either choose to take the optimistic approach or go ahead and depress yourself with a lot of pessimism about single life.
What exactly do you define as being single? I say being single is a time accorded to you to develop yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, preparing you for that special someone. Some people start to panic because they are getting older and are still single. Well, age should never be a pressure factor. So if you are one of those who has started to freak out because you have hit a certain age range, remember all fingers are not equal. We all find our relationship happiness at different points in our lives. Do not rush past a lifetime of happiness for temporary gratification.
Now that that is covered, lets go over some things you can do to prepare yourself while waiting for that special someone. Have you always wanted to drop a few pounds, well single life could be that opportunity to make time to get that desirable weight your new man or woman will drool over. Are you emotionally unsettled? Being single could be that time you spend reading about developing self. They say reading is essential. Pick up a few self help books and spend time bettering your self for that amazing person you are going to meet. Do you want a career change? Single life allows you the time to focus on things like making a big career move. It is also a time to find out what you truly desire in a partner. I suggest having a notepad where you write qualities you like or don’t like in a significant other. This will help you focus on what you are looking for versus putting up with someone just because you are tired of being single.
Now that we have that covered here are a few tips to finding a new boo
Broaden Your Horizon. A lot of people tend to date within their circle. Try going on dates outside your circle and if you are down with it, outside your race or tribe too.
Understand that there is no such thing as Mr/Ms Perfect. One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they will find the perfect mate. They end up picking prospective mates apart forgetting that there is no such thing as perfect. Pick a struggle, you cant be tired of single life and nit picking about every little thing too.
Search in the right places. If you are not the club going type, I seriously doubt you want a man who spends his weekends at the club. Try joining focus groups to meet like minds. If you love sports, a sports group is ideal to find people you share something in common with. One place to find a prospective partner that a lot of people do not think of is the grocery store. You never know, a quick run for some food could lead you to the love of your life.
Never say never. A lot of people do this and I am also guilty of it. When you say things like I can never date such and such, well, never say never. Your soulmate could end up being that never you said you couldn’t date.
Know what you need not what you want. Women are most especially guilty of this. You meet a guy, you know he is all kinds of wrong for you, but because he is very attractive you go for it. It is not what you need but what you want. While this is fine and dandy for casual relationships, providing you understand the implications, it may not be the best idea if you want something more permanent. Like everything in life, what we need may not initially be what we want so keep your heart open.
Leave the past in the past. This applies to anyone who has been hurt before. It will be difficult to move on if you hold on to that hurt. Leave the past in the past and understand no two beings are exactly alike.
Be very careful and patient. It is wise to always look before you leap. Don’t just jump into any relationship because sweet words are making you swoon. Access the person you plan to give your heart to. Make sure they do not possess qualities you cannot live with for a lifetime and most importantly be patient. They say good things come to those who wait, take your time to get to know people before you fully commit yourself to them.
I hope this helps you in your journey out of single life. I leave you with this quote from one of my poems . “Love is a beautiful thing, with the right person it becomes a meaningful thing.”
Feel free to share some of your experiences and or tips below.