I got this question during one of my Ask session and thought to myself maybe I should elaborate more on the answer. I am sure a lot of people have asked themselves at some point in their life if having sex on the first date is a bad move. Well, my simple answer is YES and here is why..
When you say first date, this most likely means the first time you are going out with the person. It also almost always means the first time you are actually getting to have sit down to get to know each other. I will X out the whole abstinence talk because although it is advisable, reality is that a lot of people do engage in premarital sex. So, it is always better to take a realistic approach to answering such questions. Now that that is out of the way let me continue with my explanation on why I think sex on the first date is a bad idea.
Although there is no clinical explanation for sexual desire and a lot of cases and arguments can be made, In my opinion, sex is something that is meant to be had by two consenting adults with a deep emotional connection and a good level of commitment to each other. Let’s put animalistic lust aside for a second. My belief is that, you can’t fully enjoy the experience when you barely know the person. Enough time should have passed to learn about each others intimacy likes and dislikes. I doubt you can do this on the first date. When there is a deep emotional connection, the experience is also more memorable. When you wait for a more appropriate time, it becomes more than just sex, it becomes an experience you can relive in your mind for days, even weeks at a time. I call it the aftershock effect.
Another reason sex on the first date is not advisable is regret. If you have sex with someone and they turn out to be an asshole, you are more likely to feel regret than if you waited and found out they were not right for you before you gave up the goods.
The question now is, when is the appropriate time. I don’t think there really is a time frame per say but I feel when you are super comfortable and have learned enough about that person to make a good informed decision. Always remember, intimacy is an act meant to bring two souls together. It is not meant to be done as a hobby.
When do you think is a good time frame to wait? Feel free to share your opinions below.