Is it bad to have Sex on the First Date?

Is Sex on the First Date Bad?
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

I got this question during one of my Ask session and thought to myself maybe I should elaborate more on the answer. I am sure a lot of people have asked themselves at some point in their life if having sex on the first date is a bad move. Well, my simple answer is YES and here is why..

When you say first date, this most likely means the first time you are going out with the person. It also almost always means the first time you are actually getting to have sit down to get to know each other. I will X out the whole abstinence talk because although it is advisable, reality is that a lot of people do engage in premarital sex. So, it is always better to take a realistic approach to answering such questions. Now that that is out of the way let me continue with my explanation on why I think sex on the first date is a bad idea.

Although there is no clinical explanation for sexual desire and a lot of cases and arguments can be made, In my opinion, sex is something that is meant to be had by two consenting adults with a deep emotional connection and a good level of commitment to each other. Let’s put animalistic lust aside for a second. My belief is that, you can’t fully enjoy the experience when you barely know the person. Enough time should have passed to learn about each others intimacy likes and dislikes. I doubt you can do this on the first date. When there is a deep emotional connection, the experience is also more memorable. When you wait for a more appropriate time, it becomes more than just sex, it becomes an experience you can relive in your mind for days, even weeks at a time. I call it the aftershock effect.

Another reason sex on the first date is not advisable is regret. If you have sex with someone and they turn out to be an asshole, you are more likely to feel regret than if you waited and found out they were not right for you before you gave up the goods.

The question now is, when is the appropriate time. I don’t think there really is a time frame per say but I feel when you are super comfortable and have learned enough about that person to make a good informed decision. Always remember, intimacy is an act meant to bring two souls together. It is not meant to be done as a hobby.

When do you think is a good time frame to wait? Feel free to share your opinions below.

Toni Payne

Author: Toni Payne

Toni Payne is a creative writer, poet, voiceover artist, media personality and entrepreneur. She enjoys writing inspirational quotes, short stories, and poetry about various topics from romance to self-love. She also does voiceover readings of short stories and flash fiction on her podcast and writes travel, exotic cars and beauty lifestyle articles. At her leisure, she writes musings about pop culture, entertainment, relationships and more.

15 thoughts

  1. Instead of being overwhelmed by your offer, your dating partner might develop a wrong impression that either you are sex starved or too easily enticed.

    1. Totally agree with the wrong impression bit of it but I also feel humans tend to develop their impressions irrespective of sex on the first date or not, which is why I did not add that to it

  2. I am a man and I can tell you it does not matter. Women are fond of withholding sex to keep a man around. It will not work. Just do it when you are ok because if you keep sex for 10 years, I can still leave after to be with someone who gave me the first night just because I like her more

  3. It doesn’t really matter but in another sense I have to be sincere, it might not be too good for the lady but for the man, its always a trophy, a very big boost to his ego. For me, if I don’t have sex with a lady, I don’t feel committed to her. Before, I declare my true feelings for any lady I must be sure she can satisfy me sexually as I don’t want to be trapped with a lady that can’t satisfy me. Trust me if a guy is really into you, giving him the cookies on the first date won’t change anything.

  4. Sex on the first date is recovery afterwards and Sex after the first date is a recovery to possible promising packages depending on individual qualities and values.

  5. Always remember, intimacy is an act meant to bring two souls together. It is not meant to be done as a hobby.

    kwakwakwakwa…. funny but true

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