Am I anti social?

am i anti socialThis is a valid question. Excuse me while I rant a bit. I may sound incoherent but I am typing as the thoughts come in my head so it is what it is. Just try to make sense of it all. If you feel it is too long, then you should not be here in the first place. I write for me and those who like to read.

Now back to the question. Am I anti social? I am not even sure what being social is anymore. Sometimes I check out things my peers are interested in and it makes me feel like maybe I am not as social as most. I interact with people online a lot and that makes me feel like ok that’s social but the wrong type of social. That thin line social media has created becomes even blurrier everyday.

I am a very simple person. Not really flashy and things I have interest in may seem boring to most. You won’t catch me at every party nor do I honor every invitation. Not because I am rude or feel like I’m too good to attend, I just have no real “omg I have to be at every party” interest in things like that. If I do attend, that person must be extremely special. I don’t crash parties – well except I was getting paid to.  Here is why! First of all, dressing up is a chore. Putting on makeup and doing my hair if I have not hired someone to help out is an even bigger chore. Most times, I just want to Netflix and chill –  or better still, Youtube Yoruba Movies and Chill – literally!.

I think over the years, I have somehow I have morphed into that simple person who sees everyday normal things like watching TV with my family as fun. Going to the Dinosaur museum to “ooo and ahhh” at Dino bones because it excites my little man as fun. Working working working and of course taking the occasional break to crack jokes with my best friend – who by the way has a very loud distinctive laugh that makes me belly laugh as fun. Going to amusement parks is probably the only adrenaline inducing fun I get to have, and I really like it that way.

These are the things I find meaningful. I always say if I were to throw a big party, I may not bother inviting many people because I am so terrible with showing up to their things. I would not blame them if they don’t come to mine. Somehow, with technology being the way it is, I do socializing a lot online – I don’t have to drive, I don’t have to put on makeup, heck, I don’t even have to leave my room. It is just convenient. The height of being anti social right? Well I think a lot of that is going to change.

Today I went on a little twitter rant rolls eyes about not being nice to my twitter followers anymore. By not being nice, I mean interacting with them less. –   not like most of them care anyways. lol.  I just feel like maybe 50% of them followed me for the wrong reasons. ok honestly more than 50%. This to me is not ok. Like the sort of person I am, I am not show offy so you can’t really famz my money. I don’t like drama so you may find me boring – I just feel like for the most part – I wish I could exchange some of my followers for those who share the same interest as me. This way socializing on social media would be more meaningful. Not tryna downplay anyone but this is how I honestly feel inside. We are keeping it 100% right?

I have noticed how a lot ignore calls to help others but will quickly retweet something negative. This frustrates the hell out of me. If that is the only way to use twitter then maybe I am not interested anymore.  Don’t get me wrong – I do have a good amount of awesome followers. Some I have met offline and some I do plan to meet offline someday. I appreciate them but when you have over 80 thousand followers and you feel you only have a connection to maybe 50 – the need to interact with more kinda diminishes. Like, if we can’t change the world together then why are we following each other? I always say I do not see myself as a celebrity. I am literally not built for that life. I enjoy being nice and I don’t know how to form – ok sometimes (lol). Celebrity 101 – you have to know how to form. Sad but true. You have to know how to be flashy to hold the attention of most of my naija followers. I’m just not bout that life. I could try but Id get bored so fast.

There is this thing I absolutely dislike about myself – and that is this super weird need to make everyone feel good. It is so annoying because I know you can’t please everyone. Like a lot of times on social media, I’ll take time out to respond to almost everyone, even when I’m super busy because I don’t want them to feel bad. In my head I feel like, ok this person tweeted you, it doesn’t cost you anything to respond and you never know, you may just make their day. No one likes being ignored so I try so hard not to ignore people.

Here is the kickback of thinking this way – I personally think some value those who don’t respond to them more than you who take your time to respond. Weird right! I am not sure why, maybe human nature? Like the response of someone who ignores you ends up being more valuable than the one you see regularly. I think I reached a plateau with twitter. When something is no longer fulfilling and you feel like you are just there wasting your time or taking up unnecessary bandwidth, for me its a sign to either reduce it or bow out gracefully. I toyed with the idea of bowing out but then I have hobbies I share on twitter like my poetry and my entertainment website so that was not an option. The only thing I could think of was to reduce interacting with people  so I don’t expect anything from them and they don’t expect anything from me.  I have also decided to keep my writing to my website. Those I have become closer to will remain so. My tweet circle is closed for now.

Does this make me anti social? At this stage I honestly can’t answer that and only time will tell. I think we as humans go through that awkward stage in life where you feel unfulfilled buy some activities – that is where I am with twitter and maybe instagram, and Facebook. Maybe I need to attend more parties and visit friends more in 2016. Maybe! The beautiful thing about the mind is, you can change it at any time.. so we shall see how this plays out..  Then again maybe nobody cares. 🙂

I used to do a lot of writing back in the day. I stopped because I cared too much about opinions and letting people into my world. At the end of the day – my life, my rules. I will do more writing in 2016 – I will also do more podcasting … Just for me.. Not for hits or views.. Just to connect with the the next person that is going through similar things. I am human, I have flaws, I am not perfect.. the perfect ones should feel free to criticize. I am sure someone can relate – you are not alone

RANT ENDS HERE – hahaaha

Toni Payne

Author: Toni Payne

Toni Payne is a creative writer, poet, voiceover artist, media personality and entrepreneur. She enjoys writing inspirational quotes, short stories, and poetry about various topics from romance to self-love. She also does voiceover readings of short stories and flash fiction on her podcast and writes travel, exotic cars and beauty lifestyle articles. At her leisure, she writes musings about pop culture, entertainment, relationships and more.

6 thoughts

  1. I DONT THINK YOU CAN SWITCH OFF LIKE THAT, YOURE NICE LIKE THAT *winks* . INFACT ONE OF THE REASONS (aside others) I FOLLOWED YOU ON TWITTER WAS HOW ENGAGING YOU WERE TO PEOPLE . SO FAR YOU HAVE REPLIED EVERYTIME I TWEETED AT YOU. BUT, THEN I UNDERSTAND IF YOU FEEL.YOU NEED TO SLOW THINGS DOWN

  2. What does it mean to be antisocial though? I think since it can be quite contextual we might as well just agree that you maybe are not. Trust me there are REAL antisocial peeps out there whose antisocial behaviour follows the true definition of the word…. But then again I guess they’re also asking – “am I really antisocial?”

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