let me address this Toni Payne cheated issue once and for all!! please read PROPERLY

I have learned over the years that you pick your battles. I have also learned that it is wise to ignore certain things, but when that certain thing is something that could impact another being negatively, then I would be doing a disservice by ignoring. I woke up this morning to a tweet by a twitter follower of mine (blazingpearl). She had retweeted a friend who retweeted a quote that was supposedly said by me.

Apparently some blogs are touting the idea that I am ok with cheating. “Toni Payne Said, do not leave a cheating man” Toni payne said its ok to cheat”. I have NEVER in any way shape or form, condoned cheating. It is hurtful, wrong, can be dangerous and I do not advise anybody male or female to cheat on their mate. I know different people used different headlines to address my tweets. I am only referring to those blogs whose headlines on twitter said I was ok with cheating. To those who quoted me without saying I was ok with cheating. Thanks for staying within the professional lines. My tweets were about self love. We cant deny that not everyone leaves a cheating spouse. The point I was trying to make was, if you decide to stay, please work on loving yourself instead of being miserable because your man is creeping. That is IF you decide to stay. I am not here to judge anyone who wants to stay with a cheating spouse, we all know what we can endure in life and we all know what makes us ok as individuals.

I felt like tweeting advise that may or may not help someone that may be going through some difficult times. You never know who is reading and I feel some words I have stumbled on have helped me too so why not. I really don’t want to stop tweeting advice because of some mischievous few, but misconstruing my words on such a sensitive topic is irresponsible. Even if you no send me, send your readers naa. All na public service abeg abeg. I enjoy my simple life and I don’t need the extras. How many times have they posted that “Toni Payne is achieving this” upon all the things I have done this year alone. My podcast has been doing very well in Naija and America, they wont write about that… na to put bad bad tin. God pass you jor.. lol…I digress!

I talk about my experience because that is what I have to share. I can not speak about someone else’s opinion or experience. Only mine!. Because I chose not to harbor hate in my heart does not mean I have not moved on. On the contrary, it means I have moved on perfectly fine. I do not need to come on the public spare shouting up and down that I am in a relationship or posting another mans picture everywhere before people realize that I have let the past go. Letting the past go does not mean you cant speak about it. It doesn’t mean you can’t use it to advise others. Speaking about your experience in life does not mean you are dwelling on it. It doesn’t mean you are insecure, foolish, or you dont know what you are doing. It simply means, you are wiser, and wisdom is a lot of times earned via learning from experience.

I don dey talk long but to the initial point i wish to address, to those who still believe I cheated on my ex. I am sorry to disappoint you, I NEVER cheated on my ex hubby. Its not who I am, it will never be who I am. Tell yourself 1 million times, Toni Payne cheated, it will never make it true. Nobody caught me in any lie, or in any bad situation, nobody slept with anyone he was close to. Yall need to put a full stop to that bullshit. Its old!. Sometimes, men want their freedom, and the fact is you cant force them to stay. Same goes for women. Everyone wont have a perfect relationship, not everyone will stay married forever, we can only aspire to. Even those that have been married 10 years and are busy judging others, do you know your tomorrow? naaaa you sure don’t so curb it abeg. We can only pray, work, and hope for a good union.
Anyways To address this my ex said this or that issue. Let me just say He has NEVER for once opened his mouth to accuse me of cheating. He has NEVER for once opened his mouth to accuse me of sleeping with anyone he knows. If awon alaiye baje wanna use our situation then to sell their crap, how is that my fault? The same media controlling the remote to say I think cheating is ok, are the same who controlled the remote back then to say his song was about me. Nobody ever called him to verify or ask before publishing. Ill admit that we both did not handle the situation well back then, It was the first time we would experience such. The tension was plenty and emotions were everywhere. We should have sorted it privately. which we did try to do but one rubbish headline and emotions go buckwild again.

I don’t wanna sound like I am defending him, cos he is responsible for himself, but in all fairness to him, and because I have a conscience that serves me well, not for once did he tweet, fb, email, interview anything of the sort. Our issues had absolutely nothing to do with what the media were speculating. People took a song he did and turned it upside down. My crew MIXED AND MASTERED the song. If it was about me, why would I allow him release it. God gave all of us sense naa.. Some just chose not to use theirs and chose to believe anything they read even when the facts are there to sort through. The only thing I have blamed him for, was not coming out on time to refute the claims and allowing it to escalate to that level, he has since apologized SEVERALLY, we have discussed it privately as we should have from the jump. I have accepted and moved on. I have also apologized for losing my cool on twitter, he has since accepted and moved on. Really, what more is there. I am not sure what people want from me. Should I hate him forever? Should I tie him to a post and flog him mercilessly? Should I be a wicked person and deprive him of his son? If I remain bitter and upset, please what value will it add to my life? Wo, my life is much more simpler than all this. Those who know me well, know this. Those that dont understand me are the ones who will be forever outside looking in, speculating crap. I am truly tired of this topic but since it seems to keep popping up, i felt it is best to finally address it properly. If anyone decides to hang on to the lie after this, that is their own cup of tea. I have a talk show to record, poetry to write and a child to raise. I don talk my own. FIN!.. If you catch any typos or errors.. take it like that. I wrote it as is…straight from the heart.. I know most who carried the headline have no conscience and wont bother appending but if anyone choses to take my post and misconstrue that one too, I leave you to God.. no be chere kambia..Se Fini

Toni Payne

Author: Toni Payne

Toni Payne is a creative writer, poet, voiceover artist, media personality and entrepreneur. She enjoys writing inspirational quotes, short stories, and poetry about various topics from romance to self-love. She also does voiceover readings of short stories and flash fiction on her podcast and writes travel, exotic cars and beauty lifestyle articles. At her leisure, she writes musings about pop culture, entertainment, relationships and more.

32 thoughts

  1. The point is your love for attention got you to where you are today. Your un-necessary cravings to be a celebrity is what is giving you this headache. You will talk and talk and divert attention about any case to yourself. Whenever I see twitter banta involving you I just laugh. You seem to think uve been hurt by linda ikeji and must bring her down thereby making yourself a mediator in all things her case. Seriously I don’t consider you a celeb or whatever you think you are. Besides u are not making waves in any America. Success announces itself so therefore work hard the more. I don’t want to write all so I don’t spoil ur mood. But u’re nt matured at all. Twitter celeb is diff from real life o

    1. First off, what does Linda have to do with this? Seems that is why you are here. Second of all, I live my life, how it suits me. Just like everyone else, I have every right to feel free on any social media i deem fit. If you are shallow enough to believe that is loving attention, then I guess everyone that has ever tweeted in their life, or posted a picture on FB loves attention, so I am not alone. If I chose to chare my achievement in the public sphere, does it stop success from announcing itself? The way you reason tho!.. Quite sad!..I agree with you on on thing tho, I do not see myself as a celeb, I see myself as a lady, living her life as she knows best, but the irony in your comment is, I am important enough to make you care enough to bother reading my post to the point of commenting and even monitoring tweets concerning me. really, I should be the one laughing. You dont have to worry about spoiling my mood. I am matured enough to understand that, some will live their life, hoping to see the bad in you. You are entitled to your opinion. It doesnt change mine. God Bless!

      1. Adesoye or whatever u call urself,ur a vry big fool n u need 2 learn ow 2 talk 2 ppl,she just addressed idiots lyk u in dah stuff up dere n u just proved urslf to be a vry big idiot..kip ur fuckin opinion 2 urself..lyk she cares… mumu

    2. Tony you should leave this to me. Ignore this hater. I know how some of the things you have posted have motivated me to going back to school to learn a trade and work hard. Haters are everywhere. Did she even mention Linda in her post? Her post was about the headlines about her, so why should she not talk about it. I hate when people display their stupidity online. This Adeoye is a perfect example. Tony carry on, i love you like Kilode

    3. If she is a twitter celeb, we like it like that. get your jealous ass out of here. at least she is celeb somewhere, who know you?

    4. Who is this jealous Adesoye gorilla and why are you here? Please go and park that arrant nonsense elsewhere. Hypocrite of the highest order.

    5. @Adesoye, your comment reaks of hate and envy. Like Toni commented, if you do not like her, why did you even bother reading her post or worry about what others say about her. I do not understand people sometimes. Toni, it is well. Nobody should force you to hate your ex. You don’t even need it. Keep sorting yourselves out privately. We love you both.

    6. She’s not a celeb to you but to some of us that have met her one on one, she never aspires to be a celeb, all she wants is to make a change, live happy and be the best mom she can be for her son. You come on her blog to diss her? You really desperate for some attention. Anyways, the Toni Payne I know have passed through more than you can ever bring so keep being the fool that you are and she keeps soaring higher than you can ever attain

  2. Eyaa I was getting emotional towards the end just sad that alot if animals in human skin wont get this atall they would even still see somefin negative to say. But to be honest just ignoreee ignoreeee ignoreeeeeee cos ppl still gona talk weda u doing gud or bad so let them keep talking u owe no one any explanation esp the audience ranting abiut the ishh

    1. Tony should ignore them but I like how she addressed it. My brother has fought physical because of this tony and 9ice topic. that is how I got to know her. I wanted to know who the babe is and i found that she is not what they painted her to be.

  3. Well he should have come out to nip it in the bud but instead he thrived on the publicity to promote his album.

    It was when he was hoodwinked by rugged man we knew the truth

    Unfortunately, ! A lot of pple dint read any follow on and will never read this so in their minds you will always be guiltu.

    Bloggers wont post a retributtal….so its was an unfair thing he did to you and zion. Fullstop

    1. You know what I realized about the whole situation. When things are intense, advise coming left and right. Sometimes, we make the wrong choices. I know not his heart but I can try to give him the benefit of a doubt that in fact, he truly did not know how to handle the situation. If I had to do it all over again, I probably wouldnt have went off on him on twitter. Someone can say cos I did that I am also a trouble maker, which i am not. that was what I felt was best at the time. You catch my drift… If I am wrong, at the end of the day, we all serve a living God. I also cant falsely accuse him cos in all fairness, he did not start the rumor. Those that did, know themselves. Thats life for you..

  4. @adesoye correction! She is making waves in North America because I am writing this from Toronto Canada, please leave the babe alone and stay on your own lane. What you are doing right now is called cyber bullying. How would you define celebrity? To me she is a celebrity because if you google her name you will find photos, articles and blogs on her which to me gives her that status. I googled adesoye and found nothing so please go and bully ur family or come on here with a face to your name and don’t hide under some stupid name that don’t exist. For your information I am an it guru and will expose your IP address if you come back here. Lol ( guru) means the best at what I do so put the dictionary down.. Madam Payne carry go!

  5. Hello Toni Payne,
    When I read Adesoye’s comment,I smiled really…I totally understand her and I feel u shouldn’t be that mad coz its part of life
    ..I tweeted something about u n ex sometimes ago and u insulted me on Twitter and blocked me…I spoke to Kazeem Popoola about it and he Opened me to things I was ignorant about… Sincerely,I don’t think every comment needs a reply…You can always ignore and let it go….
    The painful part is people judge u from the outside coz they don’t know who u are……
    Well just ignore really…..
    I respect your courage and intelligence as I am a single mom and I know what it takes to stand upright after a whole lot of drama.

    God bless you
    Cheers

  6. Dear toni, I have known for a long time from the days of w4, adol, zara nd lately olamide… Your such a wonderful, awesome, creative and hardworking woman…. You don’t have to reply people who are ignorant of the truth. They add no value into your life rather they will be happy celebrating when they hear ur misfortune! I keep praying for you and my lil friend “ZION”! Keep striving, the good lord is with thee… What’s gonna be will definately be and haters gonna hate cus they makes us more popular. #Salam

  7. Toni why not take your time and settle with 9ince and move on so that u can shame all this haters. I think u both are matured now to get back into marriage.Ade

    1. lol.. thanks for the reply… Shaming haters is far from my prerogative. Whatever they think, is their cup of tea. they should feel free to drink 10 glasses full. I have done what i felt needed to be done, applied closure to a pending topic and for me, its a done deal… I am not here to question God for I do not know tomorrow, but the fact is, I have moved on, I am happy where God has placed me and have absolutely no interest in reconciliation.. All i have to offer, is being a good joint parent with him and I am doing that as God permits me.. That is all. Thank you for your concern and God bless.

  8. See I don’t know why everyone keep blaming Adesoye . Im not defending 9ice or Tony .We all should understand ,the level at which everyone loves 9ice
    music it’s thesame level at which his personal life will be of a concern,this is what comes with fame 90 percent of Artist worldwide barely keeps a close knitted family ,it’s not their fault this is a price to pay when you celebrity .I ve worked with so many Artist and I just feel bad for them and their spouses .You can’t blame them if any of their fans has opinion either positive or negative IT IS JUSt WHAT it IS!!! You can’t blame anyone for their opinion ==> to Tony , your career and the well being of your son should be priority abstain from 9ice situation , replying or trying to explain yourselves can worsen things .Trust me !! The world is evolving fast if 9ice is reading this he needs to work more on his image and crafts , if you are a “star” be a star quality.or else !!
    Anywho I’m out!!!!!

  9. Toni Payne. I wish I could give you a massive hug for this. The first thing I thought right from the very first time I heard the rumours and when I saw the title of this post was. “Why didn’t Toni clear her name ASAP at the time the rumours started” .

    When I read your admission to your mistake of not setting the records straight my heart melted. As a woman, I understood at the time that you were trying to save your home and you thought keeping quiet will make the false rumour end. If only we all could see into the future, there are many things we would have done differently.

    I do not know you from Adam but what I know is you’ve been unfairly treated by the media. I listened to the phone call between 9ce and ruggedly and 9ce made it clear that the song referred to nobody.

    Toni. You’ve been vindicated and God will continue to vindicate you. My dear, love yourself and be happy. Let go of all the hate and drama. I might be wrong by bring sumbo into this (2face’s babymama) but if God can give her her own man – a man of God for that matter, God will do yours too and give you all the peace and happiness you deserve. Amen.

    Lots of hugs!

  10. Keep moving Toni……I started following everything about u after d divorce issue till today…from the little i know, u re such a natural, intelligent and a strong woman…..may God continue to strengthen u….its my wish to meet u one day….love from southafrica

  11. Such is life Mummy Zion, d dead is being talked about Ow much more d living. U said it all, if u both have handled it privately, it wouldn’t have escalated this much. I truly admire both of u to d extend that I had set backs during ur trial times. Their re times I have tweeted (cokewale) to u wishing ur differences can b handled but God knows best. Whatever d case may b, I still look up to u two, I admire ur courage.

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