hell hath no fury

They say it is rare to find a woman who has not been hurt deeply by a man. Personally I do not buy that because I exist and I am sure there are many more like me. When I say I have never had my heart broken people always look at me like I’m speaking french. Well, its the truth, maybe I was built tough, or maybe I have never really given my heart away to the point where it is vulnerable. Or maybe I just never put myself in compromising situations or maybe I am just lucky not to run into terrible men. Actually, so far I have been lucky to run into good guys ( I confess to usually being the runner), oh with the exception of just one, but he did not make boyfriend status anyhow because I saw through him before it went anywhere. He was actually a nice guy but he had a major problem. lol. He was a pathological liar, you know the kind that if he says good morning, you do not have to check to see if it is morning because you know for sure it is night. Yeah! that kind. lol. other than that he was pretty cool, plus I have a feeling he really couldn’t help himself. I always used to say I feel sorry for the woman that ends up with him because she just bought herself a lifetime of lies and lord knows what else. Now, imagine me trying to settle down with that guy, of course I am asking for trouble and a very unhappy future.

Anyhow why am I talking about relationships you ask? well I was reading Veras blog and Stella’s Blog and I just couldn’t stop asking myself why these women are putting themselves through this mess. I am not one to judge but I think they have set themselves up for a lifetime of drama and heartache because no matter how much we try to pretend we do not care, our hearts were not cut out for sharing out partners. Like if you know he is married and he has told you he is not leaving his wife why even go as far as having his child, and what would possess any woman to settle for second best aka second wife. Sighs! In my opinion, polygamy is a terrible thing, and the rate of infidelity in NIG is appalling. I don’t see anything good coming out of it except confusion, confusion and more confusion. I feel sooo bad for the kids that will be forced into these types of situations. God forbid, if my husband comes home with another “wife” hahhahaha, gosh I can just picture my reaction. He will know better sha!

Not that I am nosey or anything, I am actually curious to see how these stories will round up. Err and OJB, is he OK? I mean 4real is he trying to break some sort of record? and those girls? Maybe there is a shortage of men. Well sha yoruba people will say “eni to kan lo mo” meaning you can only understand when its your turn. So maybe there are different factors that play a role into their decisions to be the other woman.. HA! the other woman!, kai! just saying it gives me the hibeegibees.lol

A quote from Vera’s blog: “Then Amah and Korede: These two pretty girls in their early 20’s had promising careers in Music and Dancing respectively until Amah got pregnant and had a child for singer, OJB Jezreel, AKA Jigger. OJB is still married to his wife of several years and is in his early 40’s, but didn’t see nothing wrong in having extra marital affairs. Amah, who was happy to be wife N0.2 has received a shocker as Korede(professional dancer) who is in her 20’s and a bit younger than Amah is currently carrying Jigger’s child.What goes around, comes around. lol.”

A quote from Stellas blog: (this is in refrence to Caroline Ekanem)”after all her elongated mouth interviews where she openly professedto be dating a nigerian based abroad,this actress has just given birth toa son for a man old enough to be her fathers younger brother.well my problem is not even the mans age,my probelm is that how can someone as young(wetin be her age sef)and as pretty as caro let herself be sweet talked into becoming semi-second wife cum semi concubine?how will her co-wife treat her?what if there is more thanone co-wife?what amount of money could have lured this silly girl into this lifetime of mistake”

Another quote from Stella’s Blog “according to the well informed olofofos the brouhaha of nike throwing out tunde from her victoria island apartment was because”Dr Soleye has since been in secret communication with Omoua who has sent messages to him through his friends to stay away from her life. the dr told friends he wants to send his people to Benin to ask for forgiveness and a comeback with Omoua and to marry her asap, that Nike will always be a friend to him and not a wife.The news got to Nike , who threw tantrums with Dr Soleye and locked him out of her flat in VI when he showed up in the earlyhours of the morning.Nike has also sworn to her close friend Nkiru aumudu(nkiru introduced nike and soleye) that she might call off the june wedding.”also olofofos swear that while Nike was away in India some weeks back,Dr Soleye went back to another of his ex named Hadiza muazu in Abjua and spent 3 nights at Hadiza’s flat ..nike is pissed that she cannot continue to follow tunde around guarding him like a policewoman.Nike’s dilemna is that after the wedding in June, she cannot continue to watch his every move.”well what a couple.nIke loves men with money and Dr Soleye loves women with glamour !!”

Good luck to them!

Toni Payne

Author: Toni Payne

Toni Payne is a creative writer, poet, voiceover artist, media personality and entrepreneur. She enjoys writing inspirational quotes, short stories, and poetry about various topics from romance to self-love. She also does voiceover readings of short stories and flash fiction on her podcast and writes travel, exotic cars and beauty lifestyle articles. At her leisure, she writes musings about pop culture, entertainment, relationships and more.

8 thoughts

  1. You are lucky that your heart has never been broken. It is rare for a lot of women. It is hard what some women put themselves through, but it also has to do with their upbringing and their surrounding. Some of these behaviors are a way of life and not strange as some of us will see them. So it may not be too hard for them to endure as we are thinking looking from the other side. Well goodluck them as you said

  2. My heart has never been broken but i have met women who have been deeply messed up by men..I am dating a man much older than I am, sometimes I have some misgivings, telling myself maybe he’s too old 4 me? he’s in his early 4o’s, im in my mid 20’s but when it comes to love…im talking about real love…age doesnt matter. We all know that some girls look beyond age if they are after something else…e.g money…but if its genuine love…age shudnt matter.

    I just do not like the idea of young girls marrying already married men…like u said it can only bring confusion and pain eventually

  3. @ Linda I agree with love having nothing to do with age, but if it is not love or if one is ignoring the obvious that will lead to problems then hey, goodluck to them.

  4. Hmmm….Linda Linda, dis love with mr. F na real ‘ije love’ o. May we reach dat stage soon too sha. Anyways, Toni, when we go see your ‘budunk’ na? lol

  5. @set.. men if that is the case that is just too bad. Why would any parent raise their child to be ok with being second best.. ahh sad sha

    LMAO@ wienna.. fine fine fine.. my next post, you get to see my budunk..

    @linda, yeah age is def not an issue, well unless of course he is like 98 yrs old. lol. naa 4real so far you are both consenting SINGLE adults then there is room for love to grow. I heard that a lot of girl in NIG actually prefer married men. I dont know how true that is but thats what I was told. Like do not leave your man here o. lol

  6. TP, u didn’t hear wrong. Yeah, a lot of girls generally prefer mature married men to their younger counterparts cos simply, they’re more caring, understanding & affectionate. Unlike d younger bobos who’r so immature especially nowadays.

  7. My heart has never been broken as well, yes i have had one guy that fuckd up but it didnt break my heart…i moved on quick…

    When i was on the dating scene, i was wicked…i swear, i had that whole “I dont give a flying phuck” attitude. “You mess up once and i am ouddie cause there are enough men trying to holla at a sistuh” type of attitude and it worked for me.

    I have come to learn that naija men love BITCHES. YES! The good girls, nice girls, sweet girls, ALWAYS get hurt…the BITCHES are feared…

    Its a fact oo!

    As for married men…i have never dated a married man, and if i was single now, i will NEVER EVER date a married man.

    Shit, i must be the first and finest and the only…i cant settle for less…what the hell.

    He visits you and then has to go back home to the mother of his children and there you are…wondering if its okay to call him or afraid that his wife will come looking for you?

    I have too much class for that. I am sorry.

    Well good luck to everybody in relationships…it aint easy and everyone should play safe and play smart.

    Nuff Said.

    Nice Post Toni

  8. “a lot of girls in nigeria prefer married men”- this is so not true…what does a lot mean?y’all r really going to need to get the statistics on that one before you make a statement as broad as that!I assume the people who made these statements have spokent to 100000 of the 100million girls in naij to know that they prefer married/older men-pls stop the generalising..unless you mean friends in your circle who expressed such preference…geez

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